Jokes
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Take the time to submit a joke and if we use it we'll send you a £10 discount voucher redeemable with your first order of Crusade the amazing 2-Player board game from Dal Cassian Gamesmaker.
(offer applies to UK email addresses only and is not transferable)
N.B. Our site is viewed by all age groups so please be careful of the content of your submission.
Published jokes will be acknowledged by your initials and county only, your email address will remain confidential.


A woman brought a very limp parrot into a veterinary surgery and lay her pet on the table.
The vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two he shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, Polly has passed away."
The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure? I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, shrugged, turned and left the room, returning a few moments later with a beautiful black Labrador. The bird's owner looked on in amazement as the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the dead parrot from top to bottom, the dog then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet rubbed the dog's head and led it out of the room, but returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and began sniffing delicately at the ex-bird. One minute later the cat sat back, shook its head, meowed and wandered out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but like I said, your parrot is most definitely 100% certifiably ..... dead."
He then turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman.
The parrot's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "£150!, "she cried, "£150 just to tell me my bird is dead.!!"
The vet shrugged. "If you'd taken my word for it the bill would only have been £20, but what with the Lab report and the cat scan......"


Thank you S.M. of Nottinghamshire. Your £10 discount voucher is on it's way.

Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love and get married - The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

Name not supplied - but thanks anyway!